My life had become unmanageable. I desired to be a good mother, grandmother, wife, Christ-follower, community leader, writer, illustrator, and encourager. I tried, but I simply could not do what I most desired. My health began to wane. I didn’t have what it took to sustain the pace I had been keeping for years. I’d come to the end of my trying harder.
I thought that I could weather the storm and come out on the other side. That had always been my coping devise, and for awhile I did, but I became more and more sad and overwhelmed, and finally my life became totally unmanageable. I wanted to preserve not only what I believed my goals to be, but also to save each member of my family and their goals as well.
So after Christmas I gave up, and guess what? God met me. Right in my self-righteous puddle. It turned out that He had been waiting patiently for my surrender flag all along. He couldn’t do His work until I quit trying to do it all by myself–until I allowed Him to meet me at the door.
I no longer feel like life is unmanageable, but believe that God wants all my trying, all my inner chaos laid at His feet. He stands in the doorway with His hand outstretched. He’ll take my “I can’t” and turn it into “but I can.”